Halloween is not that far off, you know. Lazybones and I are going as pirates. We even ordered our costumes. He’ll be Jack Sparrow (he has a disturbing man-crush on Johnny Depp) and I’ll be some broad in a very tiny outfit. I believe she is what they referred to as a “scandalous” pirate. Whatever. It’s a hell of a cute costume and it came in my size. I am always dismayed by the sizing of clothes. I’m average height (five-foot-four) and yet most “small” pants are too too long. I don’t see a lot of five-foot-nine skeleton women wandering around, which makes me wonder who those pants are manufactured for, exactly. And when I was browsing the online costume shop for stuff, I was shocked that their idea of “small” was a 7-8.

If I am an average height human female who tends to be slim (but no longer bony)… Why do I have to buy clothes in size EXTRA small? Or worse, in the kids’ section? The tights I bought for my costume are childrens’ “one size fits up to 140 lbs”.

What kind of disproportionate world is this?

I’ve never, outside of my pregnancies, weighed even 130 pounds. And before anyone decides to comment about my “luck”, let me just say that struggling over weight and self-image is not the sole domain of those who are overweight.

I can’t figure out how it is possible for me to be this little. The world has started making clothes for seven foot tall twig women, and their enormous 140-lb kids. What is this, Second Life? (The avatars there are all outrageously large and proportioned like cartoons, think Jessica Rabbit only sluttier.)

I think this is all a plot to make me think I am shrinking.

No, I am not really paranoid. Just AN-NOYED.

If my costume is too big, I will scream.

Feminists get their panties in a bunch over a video game.

First of all, it looks inappropriate for kids- despite the “cartoony” graphics style. Check all the blood, and dead bodies strewn across most of the screenshots linked from the article. I wouldn’t allow my kids to play it just for the sheer violence content. How does that “create a new generation of fat-hating assholes”? (To paraphrase one of the sources listed.) In my opinion, this game should be hit up by the ESRB with at least a “Teen” rating (I was unable to find a rating for it on the site). By the time kids are teens they’ve had years of schoolyard experiences with fat-haters and bullies who will seize upon any perceived fault or difference to shame, ridicule and berate other kids for. As if that isn’t enough, they’re likely to hear tales of how obesity can negatively affect their health (from the education system, those fat-hating assholes). Fat-hating cities are banning fast food and transfats, requiring calorie counts on menus, and suggesting that it’s in peoples’ best interests not to eat until they balloon up like Mr. Creosote.

(be advised that this is a disgusting, graphic skit with bad language and a lot of vomit- watch at your own risk)

I’d also like to take this moment to call out Wyatt as a fat-hater, since he spent half of this year trying to lose weight (with quite some success)! We all know he didn’t do it for his health and fitness, but because he saw Mr. Creosote videos and played the Fat Princess game, and it made him hate fat.

…and yet I am still compelled to post about the circus, because it’s really unavoidable- and it sure grinds my gears.

Just read this article on the (im?)possibility of a McCain-Lieberman ticket. Bummer.

It’s unfortunate that there are people in the Republican Party that have got their heads so far up their asses that they’d sit and wring their hands over social issues while a damn fool with about five minutes of experience gets his ass elected. Way to screw the country, jackasses. If you had half a brain you’d stop pushing your morality on other people that you don’t even know, and do a better job instilling it in your own children, whom you are responsible for.

Or maybe the cliche about the preacher’s slutty daughter was just a big smear job started by liberals to make Christian folks look bad? Give me a break.