Have I told you about my son?
As my ever-loyal readers already are aware, I have oodles of babies.
Okay, three children, but it is far funnier to think of me as living in a shoe somewhere with rug-rats climbing all over me, isn’t it? So anyway, my three kids arrived in this order: Girl, boy, girl.
The boy, my little monkey in the middle, he’s the one I am telling you about today.
This guy-
-also known as Ringo. (Ringo is his middle name. My choice- Lazybones picked his first name. And before you ask- yes he does drum.)
In fact he was drumming so much that it was a little, well… odd (I still insist that he was tapping out rhythms in the womb but I realize this is a far-fetched claim). He also underwent a bizarre change when we moved to Italy.
If ONLY he’d started saying “ciao bella!” all the time!
No, instead he went from his usual perky, engaging little self to a different mode, where he was disinterested in food, toys, and hugs. The only toys he enjoyed at all were circles- the little rings that go on the stacker, plastic cups, things like that. He liked to watch those spin around and settle on the floor. They stopped, he dropped ‘em again. Over and over.
And he drummed- and drummed and drummed. But he also lost weight, didn’t talk, and didn’t even try to walk. Mommy was someone to be wriggled away from, never cuddled. Needless to say, this prompted the doctors to begin looking closely at him, testing, pinching, poking, and generally making him afraid to even step into the clinic anymore. That was fun when mommy needed to go in for the prenatal visits that preceded tiny George’s birth.
So, we got him interested in food (well, sort of, he’s picky as hell) and he came back up on his growth chart, started working with Early Intervention here, and we got him saying a few words, playing with some toys, occasionally looking at us when we spoke to him, all that stuff, but he still is considerably behind the power curve as far as his early childhood milestones go.
Now I sat here watching him wave his hands, rock in his chair, spin his toys and drum on everything from the TV set to his newborn sister’s fuzzy little head, and I wondered why, if he was doing all these decidedly quirky things, none of the doctors or Early Intervention folks we’d worked with had even said the “A” word to us. Huh?
Even he’s thinking… “Dude, WTF?”
Seriously. I never read up on autism- I have known one or two autistic kids/adults in my life- but I was seeing this tiny red flag popping up over his head when he’d do all these wacky little things. I just waited. We reviewed with Early Intervention after a year and the boy, he had improved so much he was like a different kid all over again- but he still was doing these things that were making bells go off for me.
Shit- Lazybones does stuff that makes the same red flags and bells pop up, but he’s a grown adult and has done just fine, so I am not particularly worried.
It took until this last month for them to evaluate his behavior for signs of autism.
Guess what?
They have now decided that he does indeed fall into the broad spectrum of autism-related “disorders” (hey, order is overrated in my opinion anyway- so bring the disorder ON, baby), and now we’ve suddenly got this new label. I wonder if they think I am crazy though, as a parent, for being glad to finally hear it? If I know something is wrong and it’s not just that I am forgetting how to raise him, maybe I will cope with it better. I’ve laid awake more than a few nights on (or over) the edge of tears, wondering why I can’t communicate with my son.
But mommy’s little buddy-
He’s still happy, funny, clever and has long since decided that mommy is perfectly fine for hugging, so I don’t think things are too bad, in his world.
good lord. the child cant be THAT picky about foods…lol, ducky, how did you squeeze him into that outfit? he looks way more like lazybones than you…but then crash is you…even that twitchy little quirk of the lips when shes irritated.
Comment by Dread Pirate Piper — 9 August 2008 @ 1858
Those jammies were definitely straining. And what do you mean, he can’t be THAT picky? You are always welcome to offer him food and have him punch you in the knuckles or cover his face as though you are offering him PURE POISON. It’s sort of funny, sort of… not.
Crash *is* just like me. She makes me insane.
Guess who George is like, though?
Comment by Dorkelina — 9 August 2008 @ 1942
Like a monkey?
Comment by wynne — 10 August 2008 @ 412
Uh, seriously–somewhere on the “broad spectrum” indeed–have they decided where? That’s rough stuff for you guys, but I’m glad the doctors are on the right track. Hopefully having a label will help you to cope better.
Trying to send you love through the computer screen, but I don’t think I’m uploading it correctly…well, can you feel it? Can you feel the love?
Comment by wynne — 10 August 2008 @ 418
She does have monkey toes, but is otherwise almost entirely unlike a monkey.
As for Ringo, he’s falling in the moderate range, thought the psychologist has been very quick to point out that this might change as he gets older. I think he was trying to be reassuring, but I told him I am not in the least bit bleak about it, I just want all the medical and educational help for him that he could possibly need right now. Oh and hey, the extra love doesn’t hurt a bit! ^_^
Comment by Dorkelina — 10 August 2008 @ 751
I confess that I don’t “get” this Jenny McCarthy/Amanda Peet “Is Autism a disorder, and is it caused by vaccines?” thing, but I know this: Ringo seems like a pretty cool kid from your pics/video, and he’s got even cooler parents. It will all work out. :-)
Comment by TSL — 11 August 2008 @ 243
Duh, i didn’t mean “video” I meant “blog.” I’m tired, lol…
Comment by TSL — 11 August 2008 @ 244
I do not, for half a second, buy that this was anything to do with the vaccinations my boy received, and even if they could prove it was linked (which they can’t!), I do not feel that risking epidemics of potentially deadly childhood illnesses is worth the convenience of not having an autistic kid. He’s fun. He sings, and he can play any beat he hears on any available surface. He dances and laughs and falls asleep with his face in his dinner sometimes, and I wouldn’t trade those moments for all the bacon in the world. When Jenny McCarthy is a medical professional who is doing clinical research into the matter, maybe I will start taking her blame claims seriously. I would bet she has good tips for living with an autistic child, and her goal itself is commendable. But she should really stop with the “I think it was the shots” crap, until she gets a few more degrees after her name.
BTW, what’s Amanda Peet’s gripe? Same thing?
Comment by Dorkelina — 11 August 2008 @ 751
Peet is actually the “Anti-McCarthy” and has shown a reasonable amount of common sense with respect to vaccinations. So, of course, the media plays her as the bad guy.
Comment by TSL — 11 August 2008 @ 1132
I would be more than happy to come feed your babies..or walk them, snuggle them, buy them things until they are mercilessly spoiled..whatever.
I was jealous until the video/blog correction..Why didnt I get to see the video of the BABY!!!!!!
Comment by Dread Pirate Piper — 11 August 2008 @ 1154
What a beautifully cute little one. :)
I teach with a guy whose wife teaches Autistic children in a private school type setting (has done so for many years and specializes in the little ones). If you need any resources please feel free to email me (via Wyatt or the addy provided by my blog). School begins September 4th, so I’ll be able to get you what I can if you want (totally up to you).
Comment by RT — 19 August 2008 @ 608
My friend (known as Vinnie Antonelli at SYLG) has an autistic son. I think Derek is about ten now. If you ever need any first-hand info, I know he’ll be happy to help you out. Just lemme know.
Comment by Wyatt Earp — 22 August 2008 @ 609